Fear & Triumph

A few months back, I came across the term zero certainty/zero fear. When I read it, I instantly had a pleasant physical reaction, akin to a radiant light in my solar plexus. My gut is where I get most of my intuitive direction, so I wrote the term down to think about later.

I have pondered it many times since then and many times it has helped me to release fear. For me, it has become a very powerful tool because if I can be okay with zero certainty (or in other words letting go of the outcome) I can find the courage to take any leap because, what is stopping me then?

Another tool I use to combat fear is being okay with being a beginner. It looks something like this:

  Hello, my name is Brenda and I have never done this before.

  Hello, this is my first time at this.

        Hello, I have no idea what I am doing.

        Hi, I would like to ____ and I know you have done it before, could you 

        help me, please?

 A real life example of this is that I have been taking piano lessons for ten years. 

When I began, I told my piano instructor, I know very little about reading notes and I am worried about getting my hands and feet to work independently. I basically need help with every aspect. That took all of the pressure off of me and I felt free to make mistakes. 

Can you imagine the human experience without fear? Sometimes we actually need fear to keep us safe as in, don’t touch that stove, don’t pet that lion, and don’t step in front of that car. Most of the time though fear is just our body trying to protect us from things that really don’t matter or that will never come to pass or if they do - will pass so quickly or be so insignificant we may never even notice.

Recently, I was tasked with writing down fifteen lifetime triumphs. Below is what came to mind. For the sake of this blog, I have added the fear element in parenthesis.

  1. Quit smoking (fear of failure)
  2. iPEC Certified Profession Coach (fear of not being good enough)
  3. Certified Professional Trainer (fear of not being good enough)
  4. Coached for Moms on the Run (fear of leading)
  5. Obtained my Liberal Arts degree as an adult (fear of presentations)
  6. Co-founded Sistas with Stride, an exclusive run club (fear of not being fast enough)
  7. Running my first 5k, 10k, half-marathon, Iron Girl and Warrior Dash (fear of not finishing)
  8. Raised 3 highly successful children (fear of imperfection)
  9. Stroke survivor (fear of my own body)
  10. Polar Plunge (fear of freezing to death)
  11. Created a coaches Mastermind Group (fear of leading)
  12. Piano (fear of sucking in dexterity)
  13. Artwork (fear of no talent/creativity)
  14. Mala making (no actual fear here)
  15. Leaving an unhappy marriage with two small children (fear of the unknown)    

When reviewing these triumphs, every single one of them except #14 had an element of fear, and in most cases, a fairly significant element. In addition, in each of these experiences I reached out for help of some kind, admitting that I was a beginner. The final thing that I noted when reviewing them, was that every single one of them was my choice (with the exception of having the stroke – but the path I chose for recovery was completely mine).

I try to always live a life of no regrets which means that I face fear on a regular basis. I would rather try and fail than to regret never trying. What is the worst that can happen? Embarrassment? Disappointment? Yet, the best thing that can happen is triumph. Is it worth the risk? You bet it is.

What have you always wanted to do? What is stopping you? Are you able to take the first step if you let go of certainty? 

Be well. Live Intentionally. Create a life you love.

Much love, Brenda